DIAL-A-BREAKUP

OK, so I shamelessly stole this from a friend who emailed it to me, who herself yanked it off the Web from the BBC.

Isn't it just the cat's ass, though?

Does beg the question, however...what's the best way of breaking up with someone? Is there a breakup etiquette, a set of rules, do's and don'ts? I think my top 5 would be...

1. DON'T do it over the phone.

2. DON'T do it by email.

3. DON'T do it while you're both arguing.

4. DO it when you're both calm and it's clear something is very wrong.

5. DO it sensitively and once you're convinced it just won't work.

Can there be best or worst breakups? And would YOU use the service below?

Agency makes breaking up easier

A German businessman has set up a "separation agency" - a service to inform unsuspecting spouses and lovers their partners no longer want them.
Bernd Dressler will deliver the bad news - for those too scared to do it themselves - for 20 euros (£13) by phone, or for 50 euros (£33) in person.
The efficiency and directness of Mr Dressler's manner has earned him the nickname The Terminator.
The 52-year-old compares his company to a dating agency but "in reverse".
"We have had dating agencies for 30 years. If you want to have a new partnership then you have to quit your previous one. I think it's the same market - just in reverse," Mr Dressler told the BBC.
The message can be delivered in a "sympathetic or direct manner". Mr Dressler said that most of his clients do not want any further contact with their ex-partner.
The client is asked to provide three reasons why they want to terminate the relationship - these are then passed on by the agency to the former lover.
"The time is right for this service. Many clients are unhappy in their partnerships and they want to end it in a neutral way," Mr Dressler said.
The former insurance manager said he has been fortunate never to have witnessed any extreme emotional reactions.
"I am only the messenger," he said.

More Lovin' for my Oven

Now, THIS is gross.

In my ongoing (but now, for your benefit, completed) navel-gazing study of the cleanliness of my own personal appliances, I came across this evidence of months-old pizza cheese/bacon fat droppings.

Clearly, I need to do this...

To go out and purchase this...

So I can turn this...

Into this.